So whenever my dog takes a shit in the front yard I’m kind of an asshole and semi encourage him to shit in the yard two houses down because one time the kid there knocked over a surfboard in our house and caused a hole to appear. I thought today was going to be like any other day and the kid was being creepy and looking at me through the window so I flicked him off and then his mom saw me and came outside and said “Did you just flick Charlie off?” and I said “No. I was flicking my Moses for shitting in your yard.” She laughed. I laughed. I almost died.
